Rainforest Cafe – Burlington, MA

Rainforest Cafe, Burlington MA

Ladies and gentlemen, it was on an innocent expedition to the Rainforest Cafe that I was given a ‘Passport to Adventure.‘ First of all, this passport isn’t really a passport, it is simply a piece of paper that means that you get to go wait in line. Pretty deceptive, lame. Second, as I looked closely at the (non)passport, I realized that it was not only lame – it used Papyrus font!

Needless to say, I dropped the passport immediately, left the restaurant, and took my business elsewhere. But unfortunately, I will never be able to fully retrieve or redeem those few brief seconds that I was forced to hold that Papyrus passport in my hands.

Dear readers, heed my warning: stay away from the Rainforest Cafe or you may lose more than just a few seconds of your time…you may lose your dignity altogether.

Edible Arrangements – Portsmouth, NH

It is a widely known fact that Papyrus is the most overused, obnoxious font known to mankind. As part of my ongoing effort to make the world a better, safer, beautifuler place I have decided to create Papyrus Patrol as a way to raise awareness for this infestation and to keep readers informed on the various uses and locations of Papyrus, that they might avoid them at all cost. You’re welcome. Please feel free to send in photos and locations when you experience a papyrus sighting too!

Edible Arrangements, Portsmouth, NH

Our first offender is the Edible Arrangements franchise located in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. After some light research I have discovered that there are 847 Edible Arrangements stores nationwide. That’s a lot of Papyrus. Thankfully, the Edible Arrangements website provides a store locator so that internet-savvy customers can locate and avoid each and every one of them as payback for their unoriginal choice in font. Thanks, Edible Arrangements!