Cape Cod Harvest Books - Plymouth, MA
As a Mayflower descendant, I do, from time to time return to Plymouth, the town where my ancestors discovered America and rescued it from the hands of the tyrannous Native Americans. Last weekend, I decided to make one of these familiar pilgrimages (no pun intended) to see the land of my forefathers, to stand on the shore and pay respect to those who perished on the perilous journey across the Atlantic, and to indulge in an abundance of tourist-ridden fanfare and seafood, fried beyond recognition (read: to perfection).
However, as I was walking through one of the local gift shops, perusing the local storekeeper’s wares, I noticed a collection of books called Cape Cod Harvest. I looked closer and realized that the font on these books was none other than Papyrus. Aghast, I snapped a quick photo then proceeded to lift the display shelf on which the books stood and threw it across the room. I screamed, “My ancestors left their comfortable English homes to sail across the Atlantic Ocean, domesticate the Native Americans, and rid this land of their tyrannical rule so that you could be free! And what do you do with your freedom? You use Papyrus font on your souvenir story books! Well, frankly, I’m ashamed and if Christopher Columbus were here, I think he would regret ever sailing the Mayflower to these wretched shores!”
The store employee promptly escorted me from the premises. And get this: she had the audacity to claim that I didn’t have a clear grasp on American history. Hah!
Patrollers beware, Plymouth may seem like a nice, touristy area, but it has a dark and seedy underbelly and after my experiences there I have reason to believe that many of the employees in the local shops are planted firmly in the pocket of Big Papyrus. Proceed with caution. It’s a dangerous world out there.
